So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
