tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
