i just made my gag reflex go away.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
