I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
