Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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