Your mouth is God's brothel.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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