I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
