O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
