Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
