so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
