My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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