After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
