weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Randomize
