Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
