wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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