Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
