My Higher Power is John Stamos
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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