Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
