Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
