I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize