I CAN MOONWALK!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
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I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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