God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize