I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
