Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize