At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
