I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
