He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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