I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
