Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.