So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."