Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
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Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I want to fling myself into the sun
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.