you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
