and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.