Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.

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(561): I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream. http://tfl.nu/f7mo

Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (2630)
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(314): View more from Missouri

So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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(314): So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/yiuw

Replies (16) Good night (1078) Bad night (3606)
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(561): View more from Florida

I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter

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(561): I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter http://tfl.nu/r170

Replies (18) Good night (1055) Bad night (4919)
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(719): View more from Colorado

If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.

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(719): If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks. http://tfl.nu/p2ad

Replies (25) Good night (4794) Bad night (1090)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.

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(920): He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start. http://tfl.nu/5fft

Replies (3) Good night (807) Bad night (2893)
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(607): View more from New York

Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.

(845): View more from New York

Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.

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(607): Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up. (845): Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity. http://tfl.nu/u2xk

Replies (5) Good night (2023) Bad night (692)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.

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(401): Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally. http://tfl.nu/lbqp

Replies (1) Good night (685) Bad night (1209)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket

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(252): See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket http://tfl.nu/0lhc

Replies (11) Good night (1591) Bad night (656)
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(818): View more from California

Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.

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(818): Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC. http://tfl.nu/yps0

Replies (9) Good night (2157) Bad night (554)
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(586): View more from Michigan

There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.

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(586): There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life. http://tfl.nu/feu1

Replies (6) Good night (468) Bad night (883)
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(214): View more from Texas

Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer

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(214): Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer http://tfl.nu/w9ex

Replies (3) Good night (631) Bad night (549)
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(954): View more from Florida

I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.

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(954): I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school. http://tfl.nu/cu89

Replies (1) Good night (944) Bad night (337)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm

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(316): I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm http://tfl.nu/e7hi

Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (500)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.

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(202): Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund. http://tfl.nu/7pae

Replies (8) Good night (506) Bad night (1247)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?

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(503): Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple? http://tfl.nu/ih8q

Replies (5) Good night (291) Bad night (619)

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