We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
