I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂