it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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