You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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