so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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