dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
