she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
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Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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