And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
