Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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