He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Last time i carry you out of a forest
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
