Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
