i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
