People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
