just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize