Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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