There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
