but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize