I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Pooping to opera.
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