Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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