Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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