I have demons in me.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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