no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
