matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
