hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
