I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
