Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
