I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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