hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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