She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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