If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
