I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
