I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize