Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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