Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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