theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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