I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
