margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
