Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
