ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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