my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
