They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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